get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
