Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
