in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
