idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Your cock deserves a montage
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize