dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize