why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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