Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
How does one acquire holy water?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
