some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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