Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
