Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
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