She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
