Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
