My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
