Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
