Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
