just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize