It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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