All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
