Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize