worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
