i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize