is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
