Kiss
Puke
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize