i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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