went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
