I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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