i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
