can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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