I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
