Pants 0. Shit 1.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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