I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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