you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
