Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
