Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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