I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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