Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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