every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
