holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
