My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
