fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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