why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
