Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
