Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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