I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize