if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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