And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
