Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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