just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
