yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
