I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize