i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
