i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
