No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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