i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
