I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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