Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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