who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
