Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
