im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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