You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I don't think brook has ever known best
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
